A disease where the affected
person is often referred to as the victim (uncommon to most diseases).The underlying conditions are genetic and situational. They are known to involve consuming copious amounts of beer from a gas can before, during, and after an allergic reaction to something else.
The disease develops when the victim’s good friend gets concerned and suggests outlining the spots to keep track of them. Mere seconds later, a bunch of the victim’s jerk friends
will start outlining them with a
sharpie.
The disease can and
will metastasize into:
-Stage I, if in the presence of an asshole friend who starts outlining a
non-existent splotch in the shape of male genetailia in non-visible part of the body
-Stage II, If an
even bigger asshole friend decides that the other asshole friend missed an
even larger, much larger than actual scale in fact, non-existent splotch also in the shape of male genetailia.
Good Friend: Hey man, you have splotches all over your neck and back!
Victim: <takes off shirt> whoa it’s all over my back and shoulders.
Asshole Friend: I think your girl is trying to
murder you. I told her that
bloody mary had clamato in it.
Victim: <dumb drunk laugh>
Good Friend: no this is serious, at
work, we outline them at my clinic, because it is easier to see if they are getting worse or better.
Victim: <pause for reflection>
Jerk Friend: Hey, I found a sharpie.
Asshole Friend: look, He’s got a goofy shaped splotch on his shoulder. <heh heh>
Even Bigger Asshole Friend: Look, you missed that one that takes up his entire back. <HAHAHAHAH Anaphylacdick Rash!>
