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colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra 

Damn it's cold out here!
Yeah, it's colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra!

flat as a witch's tit 

Flat taste-less beer or lager
Ugh, is this the best beer you have? its as flat as a witch's tit

Flatter than a witch's tit

Adjective. Extremely flat. A witch is traditionally considered not to be the model of fertility and, as such to be less than buxom.
Norfolk is a very windy county but that is not surprising -it is flatter than a witch's tit.
I turned the key but, having left the radio on all night the battery was as flat as a witch's tit.

As dry as A witch's tit 

Referring to something extremely dry.
The Sahara dessert is as dry as A witch's tit

Hot As A Witch's Tit

1) When it's so hot outside, you practically melt.

2) An expression one says when it's too freaking hot out.
Shaneequah: L'Shundra! I walked outside earlier, and guhh. It wuz hot as a witch's tit!

Charles: Holy French Toast! It's hot as a witch's tit out here, Reginald!

colder than a witch's tits 

witch's were once imagined as old hags with wrinkly skin and icy blood. ha! So the phrase "...colder than a witch's tits..." was used during very cold weather. When someone who still thinks this way came into a warm house or room, often, the phrase would come to mind.
Ol' Harry came into the cabin wrapped up in almost everything he had. The blizzard was just reaching it's peak. He said shiveringly, "DDDDamn! It's ccccolder than a witch's tits out thththere!"