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28 definitions by McCririck's unlucky Laundress

An insulting comment on a theatrical production, disguised as a compliment.
"Dwaaahhling!!! So glad you made it! What did you think of the show?"
"Oh uh...wow! The costumes were great! Where did you hire them?"
Subtext: the acting was wooden; no one knew their lines; I kept looking at my watch. It was a sack of pig shit.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 14, 2005
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Noun: a German person. kraut fritz squarehead.
All my material fell flatter than a witches tit last night - there was a big crowd of sausage munchers in - and now they've taken all the sun loungers.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 11, 2005
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Noun, singular or collective: A chain (or single branch of a chain) of large DIY warehouse shops occupying ugly, aircraft-hangar-like buildings - sheds. Wickes, Homebase, B&Q are sheds.
That little ironmongers on the corner didn't have one.
You'll have to go to one of the sheds then.
Yeah, but they'll only sell me a packet of 20 and charge me an arm and a leg.
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 13, 2005
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Noun: A ratchet tool for tightening and then cutting the surplus off nylon cable ties or 'straps' without leaving a sharp point protruding.
Familiar due to sounding a bit like 'appendectomy'. Phrase in use by employees of GEC in UK in 1980s.
Shouted the length of a telephone exchange or similar electrical engineering environment "Who's got my strapadicktome? I'll have to trim these with side cutters."
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 11, 2005
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"God! Is that the time? Got to get to the shop and pay my stupidity tax."
"You'd be better off putting it on the 2nd favourite of the first horse race of every Saturday; buying premium bonds or even sticking the pound coins in a biscuit tin under the bed."
"I know, I know but I've been playing these same numbers for years now and if they came up I'd kick myself."
"I logged on to this website that explained how Lotto is a big swindle controlled by Freemasons who are anti-gambling and the number ball machine is rigged to give certain numbers."
"AAAGH! You bastard! You've made me late now! You wait, I bet my bloody numbers come up."
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 14, 2005
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Interjection: "May God blind me!" was once a serious oath, not sworn in anything but earnest. It's shortening was partly to avoid offence and partly for brevity. See also gawd blimey.
Part of a song by Lonnie Donegan:
'Oh, my old man's a dustman,
He wears a dustman's hat,
He wears cor-blimey trousers
And he lives in a council flat...'
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 12, 2005
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Nickname or term of abuse for a person with ginger hair. Comes from the 1980s UK TV advert "Duracell, with the copper-coloured top: no ordinary battery looks like it or lasts like it."
Oi! Duracell, you are intrinsically unattractive. How did your ginger, freckled ancestor ever succeed in passing on their genes?
by McCririck's unlucky Laundress September 15, 2005
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