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Well cut me down and call me Stumpy!

Australian expression of surprise and near-disbelief at some information. From the Lambing Flat district of New South Wales
Your eight-year-old ewes are giving birth to triplets? Well cut me down and call me Stumpy!

Falling down the well 

Falling down the well during the picnic with my new girlfriend would be a real afternoon delight!

Drop a brick down the well 

To defecate, to make brownies from your brown hole, to release the poop from its cage, to go berserk, to do business on the porcelain throne, rule your kingdom.
(Texting)
1) Whatchu doing?
2) dropping a brick down the well, and ripping a hole through time and space with my ungodly farts. Wbu bro?

1) wait i'm on the toilet too let's drop a brick down the well together!

throw timmy down the well 

using an innocent friend as a scapegoat for something you did that was stupid.
friend 1: i called up that cute guy last night, then was to nervous to talk to him, so i said it was Susie and hung up.

friend 2: throw Timmy down the well then did you? that's messed up!!

Timmy fell down the well 

A phrase used to describe the dissatisfaction a woman begins to feel during intercourse with a man who is under-endowed, as her perfectly fine vagina begins to feel cavernous because of his teeny-weeny.
I thought my first time having sex with Bill was gonna be great, but it was a total Timmy fell down the well. What a bummer.