Witness me 

An extreme version of hold my beer.
A battle cry before you do some dumb sh*t
originated from mad max

"Witness me motherf*cker", he said as he brake checked the car tailgating him

Witness me by Zb0ss July 30, 2020

witness me 

When you pour applesauce on your face in front of your philosophy professor to indicate how tired you are at all times. Also known as being very depressed .... so applesauce on the face .... cures depression

“Witness me, Chris”

witness me by GayishJewish October 17, 2018

Jemima's Witnesses 

A small, newly formed religion religion that believes This, a newly formed religion, is based on the ideology that Aunt Jemima is an omnipotent being that watches over the stack of pancakes that is the world as we know it. The stack of pancakes represents a multi-layered universe in which the top layer is seen as "heaven"; the middle, earth; and the lower, "hell". The butter on top of the stack is believed to be the very dwelling of Jemima herself! This layer idea is supported loosely by string theory (where multiple universe are layered side by side). It is believed that Mrs. Butterworth resides and rules the Lowest Pancake, where she attempts to thwart Aunt Jemima and all of her syrupy goodness. Mrs.Butterworth is indeed the essence of evil! Last, but certainly not least, we believe that you should "Eat a Better Breakfast "!

I'm Jemima's Witnesses. I believe that Mrs Butterworth is evil.

Jemima's Witnesses by Geshman WG October 13, 2010

the household maid witnessed it all 

A less-than-well-known joke about Fereydoon's stalker (the household maid) from the game Wild ARMs 5. The "household maid" is a creepy woman who watched (or "witnessed", as she says) Fereydoon and Lucille spending some "quality time" with each other, and tells the person playing the game all about it. It's an easter egg, so very few people who have played the game actually know about it.

Outside of the WA5 cult, this phrase can be used to cause awkward silences.

Original Phrase: I witnessed it all... Fereydoon the Sentinel and a maid from Lady Diana's mansion, having tea and getting VERY cozy with each other...

Example of use in real life:

Mom: What were you doing up there with your girlfriend?

Your older brother: Uh...watching a movie?

Your younger sister, who was in the other room and heard it all: The household maid witnessed it all.

the household maid witnessed it all by zolo1243 December 16, 2008

Trump’s Witnesses 

Also known as the “Trump Old Party” (TOP). A far-right subgroup of the GOP, which may be likened to a political equivalent of Jehovah’s Witnesses. White nationalists who misuse Christianity to reach out to undecided or apathetic voters, by warning them to stay away from socialist or alt-left politicians who support abortion, same-sex marriages, illegal immigration, and multiculturalism.

Guesstimate how many ultra-MAGA patriots in red-pilled states who just hate being called “Trump’s Witnesses.”

Trump’s Witnesses by Fasters January 14, 2023

Jehovahs Witnesses 

A Christian Religious group who preach to people by knocking on doors.

Yes they might be annoying, but they believe they are helping people, so give them a break. If you ask them not to call ever again they wont, thats all it takes.

I know some and they are lovely people, and the horrible things people say about them hurt, needlessly.

I havent been brainwashed and im not deluded, im just not disrespectful to people or beliefs i dont know about.

Some Jehovahs Witnesses called and sounded interesting so I started a bible study with them.

Jehovahs Witnesses by RandomMe September 16, 2009

Jehovah's Witnesses 

Students of the Bible who preach the "Kingdom of God." They claim that their God--Jehovah--is using Jesus Christ to bring an end to the world as we know it.

One of Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door, shared a scripture, and offered me a Watchtower magazine.

Jehovah's Witnesses by Mack C January 16, 2007