Vested 

To have been fisted, in an indeterminate orifice, all the way up to the fister's shoulder, and once his/her hand reaches the kidneys, their phalanges must be spread wide.

The name derives from the fact that only a vest can be worn during the act.

Example 1: Hey you! Ten seconds ago you were vested!
Example 2: I'm gonna vest you, boy!

Vested by The Real Men. March 1, 2011

vested 

money you can actually touch, or cash out as a paycheck/income

out of my $5000 in my 401(k), only 80% of it is vested, which means i can only take out at max $4000. my employer still holds the remaining $1000. the remaining $1000, will be mine after 6 months.

vested by anon03654643 January 13, 2023

Vested Up 

To currently have on a ballistic vest or ballistic armor (bulletproof vest).

That nigga vested up. Gonna aim for the head.

Vested Up by Red_5 October 17, 2009

vested interest 

Personal and/or monetary connection/involvement regarding an upper-torso-warmth/protection garment-manufacturing establishment.

If I worked in a job dat required Kevlar body-armor, I would sure-as-shootin' (pun not intended, but it is indeed 100% appropriate!) have a "vested interest" in da garments' manufacturer!

vested interest by QuacksO March 28, 2020

Yellow-vested fuck 

Any service workers deemed excessive, unnecessary, or generally unhelpful. Usually stands out by the bright yellow vests they wear, sometimes adorned with reflective lining

The parking situation at SeaWorld sucks. Just a bunch of yellow-vested fucks standing around not being particularly helpful in directing traffic

Yellow-vested fuck by Prince Edward the turd January 8, 2020

vaccine vested

For when you are two weeks past your last vaccine dose

After I'm vaccine vested, I'm going eat the shit out of some totchos at a bar.

vaccine vested by mhaswritersblock May 17, 2021

visted 

When you are an unfortunate user of an installation of Windows Vista that just doesn't like to function properly. The daily hassle of rebooting and trying to get other software to work with Vista leaves you with an ass-raped feeling.

Leon: Dammit I have to reboot again.

Mobley: Dude, you just got Visted.

visted by Mobzekiel June 13, 2010