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I'll Alert The Media 

A sarcastic remark saying you don't care. Usually said after someone says something incredibly stupid or random. It originated from the movie "Arthur" where Arthur tells his valet, Hobson, he's going to take a bath. Hobson, not caring, says "I'll alert the media."
Arthur: Hobson
Hobson: Yes, Arthur
Arthur: You know what I think I'm going to do?
Hobson: What, Arthur
Arthur: I'm going to take a bath
Hobson: I'll alert the media...

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Girlfriend: OMG!! Jenny had the cutest top on today!
Boyfriend: Uh huh...
Girlfriend: I want that damn top! Like...oh my God!
Boyfriend: Mhm...

Girlfriend hits her hand on something

Girlfriend: Ow!! I broke a nail!
Boyfriend: I'll alert the media...

Alert the Media 

Comment used when someone says something of utter uselessness, or that only they care about
"OMG she's like totally wearing my shirt"
"Oh no...should I alert the media?"

The Media 

The media is the place on a phone where you can buy things for it. Giving the media is the act if ramming any phone up someone's anal passages and shouting the media in a loud annoying voice.
My friend gave me the media and i think he liked it...
The Media by Ahome July 7, 2010

The Media 

What you blame for anything wrong people believe
Friend: My Mom says video games cause violence. The media has brainwashed people
The Actual media: Fact-checking trump's claim that video games cause violence
The Media by mrguy122345 October 20, 2020

Consuming The Media 

A term used in conversation when making the implication of the viewing of pornography/naughty material, as well as doing acts such as: jerking the gherkin, beating the bishop, seasoning the sausage, choking the chicken, and of course my personal favourite; "Giving the 8-year-old in my basement a short break".
Guy: "Hey did you consume that media last night?"
Media Consumer: "Yeah bro! I went downtown on that media"

Guy: "So how do you relax or deal with anxiety?"
Media Consumer: "I consume the media, obviously! Duh!"

Guy: "What were you doing over the weekend?"
Media Consumer: "Yeah mate, I was just consuming the media if I'm honest"

Alert the Media 

Underground rock band from long Island that kicks some major @$$. They play all types of rock and do not like to be limited to one type.

www.alertthemedia.cjb.net
or
myspace.com/alertthemedia