The Merchant

The Merchant is a man who resides in the East Greenwich area and rarely cares/needs to venture out of his territory. He deals with fine wines and cigars and hosts a plethora of crazy parties filled with friends. The Merchant currently has only one trade ship of his own but he can call upon a sizeable fleet if the need presents itself

The Parties at The Merchant's trade post are very exclusive, and only those who are on the guest list are allowed to attend. He is usually fairly peaceful but if angered, he is a formidable foe as he is equally as formidable as he is large! Should this not be enough to deter any issues, he can always call upon a small army to aid him in his endeavors. He can usually be found by the smoke clouds puffing away from his fine cigars that he perpetually smokes.

The Merchant was orginally named by Adam and known by only a few. Even today (years later) there are few who know The Merchant, and even fewer who know The Merchant's real name but there are countless who know of The Merchant and The Merchant's parties.

The Merchant of East Greenwich
The Merchant of the East side of G

The Merchant by Anaxagoras May 22, 2006

The Larry Merchant 

A world-famous beverage named after the great Larry "Vodka Breath" Merchant, former HBO Boxing commentator.

Regularly consumed amongst the global glitterati, it consists of two fingers of vodka dry and straight, traditionally served in a mustard glass. Usually runs you about $14.00 depending on the establishment.

Drink it between rounds.

"Would you like The Larry Merchant? You may get vodka breath but just have a mint."

"Barkeep! I'd like a Larry Merchant."

"Did you make sure everybody finished their Larry Merchants? The match is about to startz"

The Larry Merchant by TommyBoySelleck February 5, 2017

the gaming merchant 

Hewwo I hope ya weww

The gaming merchant more like the gaming jesus

the gaming merchant by SeenDizzle April 10, 2021

The Skull Merchant Treatment 

The catastrophic art of obliterating something so thoroughly-so viciously-that not even the memory of it’s former shape survives

“Y’all see what they did to concord”
“Yeah that game straight got The Skull Merchant Treatment”

The Skull Merchant Treatment by Calcium Stool June 7, 2025

The United States Merchant marine Academy

also known as Kings Point. Its a place where one wears a silly costume (uniform), does plenty of excercise(looking at porn) and of course is well hydrated, with more alcohol than you can imagine. But what do you expect from a school full of sailors. Unlike the sissies at the Naval Academy, we know how to drink and chase women of the night. We are given a whole year to do it on commericial ships. Located in Great Neck NY we proudly display our Nazi Flagpole, in a Jewish Community. Need I say anything else about an establishment that when you graduate you are given choices to actually make a ton of money, and not have to go active duty. Because why fight in the war, when you can profit off of it.

The United States Merchant Marine Academy, where dreams go to die

The United States Merchant marine Academy by salty seaman April 24, 2006

Hands off the merchandise! 

Hands off the merchandise!

A protest/order uttered by one of either gender when someone else (usually of the opposite gender) wants to indulge in a little touchy-feely, but he’s not in the mood.

Weary girl (pushing her guy's "exploring" hand away from her boobs): Hey! Hands off the merchandise! I wanna go to sleep now!

Hands off the merchandise! by QuacksO November 28, 2011

hands off the merchandise! 

Basically "Don't touch my stuff, punk."

Person A: Dude, awesome iPod!! (reaches for iPod)

Person B: Hey buddy, hands off the merchandise!

hands off the merchandise! by underdawg November 10, 2008