Strugglesville is a quaint little town with citizens that are proud of their drunken disasters. It borders Shamblestown, Sloppy City, and the town where that drunk bitch lives. Residents of Strugglesville often find themselves in a drunken shamble at 8pm on a Wednesday after they move on to the second handle. The Strugglesville Diner only serves the most delicious hangover foods, with favorites such as
eggs, pizza, Miss Vickie's Simply Sea Salt
chips, and Jamba
Juice. Citizens are known for passing out while intending to take a "quick"
nap, almost getting arrested, and doing very inappropriate things on the dance floor. Each resident has a signature
drunk picture face and is known for absolutely loving the camera at their worst moments. Most Strugglesville citizens only recall the details of their weekends when they hungover-ly
creep on facebook the morning after and find pictures of the nights prior. A resident of Strugglesville is tied to their
cell phone at the
peak of their drunkness & thinks that the person they haven't spoken to in over a year really deserves a misspelled, incomprehensible text at all hours of the morning. They shamelessly peruse their text outbox the next day to see who they so direly needed to contact while in
mid struggle. Citizens of Strugglesville don't walk; they
sway or shuffle down the sidewalk. They often over tip the cab driver because they are too
drunk to do
math of any sort. They tend to vomit in strange locations, be it a
blue BU moving cart or an aimless red solo cup. Most residents of Strugglesville always have
alcohol at their disposal and only have jobs to support this habit. It is not to say that all residents of Strugglesville are alcoholics, because let's get real, claiming alcoholism is for quitters, is it not? Citizens of Strugglesville are not planning on quitting their shenanigans any time soon. Every resident's weekend is an epic tale of disaster and shambles, but they are damn proud of it. The town motto is "the best way to cure a hangover is to drink again...and again...and again;" each citizen harbors and lives with this motto in mind. No drink is too strong; no handle too
big; no struggle too great for these residents. Struggling is an art form, and the residents of Strugglesville are the Picassos of their time.
