Sloadie
A slow roadie (road cyclist) that couldn’t catch a cold if said cold was running backwards.
Prerequisites: bike will have skinny tyres and drop bars, rider will possess an innate inability to travel faster than 15mph (10mph if wet) and be oblivious to their status as little more than street furniture.
See also: matching pro team lycra kit, panniers
Typical Behaviour: will meander slowly down the middle of wide cycle lanes defeating all attempts from other cyclists to overtake. If when reaching a junction the light is red, the Sloadie will position itself in front of all other cyclists then proceed to move off slowly on green having neglected to choose an appropriate gear. Often this will be accompanied with several failed attempts to “clip in” to the pedals they bought 18 months ago but still haven’t quite got the hang of yet.
Prerequisites: bike will have skinny tyres and drop bars, rider will possess an innate inability to travel faster than 15mph (10mph if wet) and be oblivious to their status as little more than street furniture.
See also: matching pro team lycra kit, panniers
Typical Behaviour: will meander slowly down the middle of wide cycle lanes defeating all attempts from other cyclists to overtake. If when reaching a junction the light is red, the Sloadie will position itself in front of all other cyclists then proceed to move off slowly on green having neglected to choose an appropriate gear. Often this will be accompanied with several failed attempts to “clip in” to the pedals they bought 18 months ago but still haven’t quite got the hang of yet.
Sloadie by Donkey Wrong January 23, 2016
