When you are sitting in a hot ass porto-potty that is baking in the scorching hotsun and the sweat off your back is running down your ass crack, your ass full of sweat turns your toilet paper wad into a wet wipe when you go to wipe your ass.
Q: Arthur, is your bunghole feeling fresh after that deuce you just dropped?
A: Why yes, Theresa, yes indeed. It was so damn hot in that fucking portable toilet that I was gifted with sweat wipes to freshen my ass! Now may I please receive that BJ you offered me this morning for raking the leaves?
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. PenguinBooks,1992. p. 38)