person number 1: "oh wow Justin the football player, takes a long time in the bathroom"
person number 2: "hes probably masturbating while he shits"
person number 1: "haha, Justin shasterbates"
person number 2: "hahahaha thats clever. shasterbate!"
Used to prod midgets out of your way. Usually telescopic in design for greater distance. At full length, can be swung like a bat to provide more clearance at 2-3 midgets in one fowl swoop.