Postman's Surprise

The act of drawing a smiley face on your penis and poking it through your letter box, just as the postman is about to deliver your mail.

Man, i sure gave him a postman's surprise this morning

Postman's Surprise by SeductiveUnveal March 22, 2011

Postman's Day

A day in which the weather continually switches back and forth from sunny to rainy. A joke on the phrase 'Rain or shine' that was originally used by postmen. Also known as a postman's situation.

'This weather is crazy. It's sunny but it keeps raining on and off. It's a postman's day.'

Postman's Day by Dark_Midget April 13, 2007

Postman Shat 

Like Postman Pat, however, this person takes a shit through your letter box.

"I heard the letter box flap so I went to collect my mail. All I found was a steaming dump on my carpet. I can't believe someone did a postman shat."

Postman Shat by Hammertime25 October 15, 2014

postman stamp

The act of holding in fecal matter until a turtle head (without pinching it off) is created, then stamping it on somebody.

Jonathan postman stamped Jerry and yellled, "You got mail!"

postman stamp by pseudonym_maker November 21, 2015

Sneaky Postman 

When one individual defecates inside another person without their noticing, usually the anus.

I totally delivered that chick some sneaky post last night.

Oh man, I feel full.
You might've been given the sneaky postman.

Oh god, last night was messy. I think I received a sneak post on the dance floor.

Sneaky Postman by The Postmaster November 7, 2013

Shaking hands with the ol' one eyed postman 

Having a bashy washy wash wash, Busting a naughty, helping the lil' guys on their way, aiding a explosion of sex juice, basically this is the phrase given to fuckin wankin man shaking hand refers to the act your wrist appears to be performing on your penis in order to bust one out all over your mommas face, the one eyed postman is the general himself, your little man, your japs eye. Some people mainly men call there penises names normally male, the most popular being eric, alfred or the significantly more crude willy, women give theres oriental names or female names such as kirsten, brian and the more european Kin Gat Chuw.

"I really greeted my one eyed postman enthusiastically after his much appreciated delivery last night i really wanted that jumper, i then got him to send a message to my sister Carl telling him/her how much i missed it nonce"
"i call mine margaret after my brother ian i call him the general and often i congratulate him on his achievements, what is your postmans name"
"Shabaz hes a right jizz canon"
"when did u last send a delivery"
"oh it was April 6th of May"
"ok well have fun shaking hands with the ol' one eyed postman"

Shaking hands with the ol' one eyed postman by Muhammed Legend July 27, 2007

sexy postman pat

he is so sexy but Mrs groggins is sexier with her big ass nose

Person: look how sexy pat is, I should call him sexy postman pat!
Mrs. Groggins: not as sexy as me
Person: no
Mrs Groggins:*shakes chunky ass*

sexy postman pat by tacobitch67 February 27, 2026