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Poshed

The space left in your wallet after a particularly drunken and expensive night out. Normally after being invited on an aquaintances birthday/stag night to go somwhere you would not normally go due to the expense. Anywhere on Broad Street for example.
The best way not to get poshed is to get the first round in. Then later in the night, when your compadres are drunk you can seagull a few drinks from them.
How to realise that you are getting poshed: when it dawns on you that the content of your wallet will either stretch to a curry and a taxi home, or one more drink - and you get the drink.
A popular place to get poshed is a distant cousin's wedding where the free bar has been withdrawn. Thus you end up drinking your taxi fare back to the B & B and having to scrounge a lift from some pissed-up arse in a Range Rover.
'Coming for a curry?'
'Nah, I'm totally poshed mate. Lend me a tenner?'
'*&$£"! off!'

'Good night out?'
'Yeah, we went up town now I'm completely poshed. Lend me a tenner?'

'How was the wedding?'
'Crap, the freebies were denied so we got well poshed!'
by Loopmeister August 2, 2006
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keep me posted

A phrase used to tell someone to keep them informed about what happens in the meantime. Kinda like asking to keep you updated of all the things that happen in your absence.
My best friend (in online chat): "Dude, I'm at the valley now for the fight with that dude . Gonna kill that mofo here who's been threatening me since last month. I'll beat the crap out of him here tonight.

Me: "Alright, keep me posted on what happens! Also, let me know if I shall bring a wheelchair to take you back from the valley after your fight.

My best friend: "Fuck you, man!"
by douche1998 May 2, 2015
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posiedons kiss

When you're taking a dump and the toilet water splashes up and gently kisses your booty hole
I sat on the toilet earlier and as soon as that turd dropped I felt posiedons kiss to ensure me that my gift to the sea was recieved
by Josh Sparkles March 7, 2017
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straight posted

To be gone, high as fuck, drunk as fuck, or both at the same time ;)
Dude jimmy was straight posted at Julia's turn up last night!
by KingOfTurnUps January 7, 2014
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Roasted, Toasted, Packaged up, and Posted

When you roast someone and they have no comebacks at all and just standing there, absorbing the screams from the crowd as the roastee, makes a square in the air with his hands, and waves a check in the air.
1: You're ugly!
2: That sounds like a mouthful, i'm sure you used that when you were choking on your dads dick.
Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH
an example of someone being Roasted, Toasted, Packaged up, and Posted.

Me: please help me i'm bored and made a shitty meme...
by Zupalan January 9, 2019
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bro you just posted cringe

Bro you just posted cringe, now you're going to lose subscribers.
by Uglyscptato September 26, 2019
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pished

Yet another word from Scottish people for drunk, we have millions
"ach man, I'm well pished"
by Kieren and Grae July 1, 2006
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