Jess started accelerating before we got to the bump so I grabbed the oh crap strap and kissed my ass good-bye. We flew through the fucking air at 70 mph!
What you say the moment you realize you blew it, sometimes even when you didn't screw up beyond. It's always said or thought before an imminent mishap, like falling down the stairs, or breaking something in which case more severe profanity is utilized immediately afterwards. By now you know what I mean. It's also an expression of embarrassment.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.