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A nonce who also loves a bit of incest while they "nonce" it up with their 5 year old brother. A very big no no
Me: mmm love myself some kiddies
stranger: sir could you please leave
Me: why? I'm just here to pick up little johnny.
Stranger: Sir, please stop touching that child like that, you're in a kindergarten, SIR STOPPPPP NOWWW!
Me: *Inappropriately touching my little brother* Whats the problem?
Stranger: YOU ARE A NONCEST THAT'S THE PROBLEM
Noncest by BigJuice June 23, 2019
Noncest is committing the ‘crime’ of ‘noncing it up’ with a family member that is also too young to understand what Brexit is. Noncest is not recommended at family gatherings or primary school nativities.
Person: People with two first names are the type to be into noncest

James Ross: :P
James Ross’ little cousin: :O
Noncest by BiggerJuice August 4, 2019

Noncestick

When a paedophile has raped so many kids that the government has decided to impale them on a metal pole.
You hear about that paedophile Nik who lived up the road? Yeah now he is just a noncestick
Noncestick by NJRuler November 6, 2019
1. Bitcoin (.00000001) A self-effacing homonym formed that means "non cents" or a contraction of "nonce cents" -- and sounds like "nonsense"!
This round we had 6M shares in, and I'll I got for my effort was .12345678 Noncents!
Noncents by LittleDuke September 3, 2012

nonces direct 

Alternative name for a well-known chain of cheap sports shops in the UK that sells all of the brands usually spotted in paedophile sting videos such as Slazenger, Dunlop and Crocs. One of their employees was once stung in the stock room of a Nonces Direct shop and as a result is now considered king of the paedos.
After Jimmy the paedo had given out all of his sweets, he popped into Nonces Direct and bought a Slazenger jacket
nonces direct by Baz&Dave May 31, 2019

nonceatron 

A person that you thought couldn't get any noncier but just did, AKA the ultimate nonce.
Mr Carr is looking at you again, what a nonceatron.
nonceatron by neildown69 March 31, 2021

Noncester 

A noncester is not just your average, small time nonce.

A noncester is prolific in his fiddlings of multiple victims and can only be described as a monster nonce for his many deplorable acts of paedophilia. A Noncester.
Bailey, mate, clock that guy by the main school gates. It's Keith the noncester spying the hopscotch again.
More from Urban Dictionary
A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026

trucker's tan 

A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
The phenomenon where adults salivate at children's toys
Every time I walk into the toy aisle, I catch myself kidulting over the latest action figures and LEGO sets!
kidulting by Emotional Cruiser October 12, 2025
Word of the Day on October 4, 2026
British slang for a scientist or technical expert, esp . when the speaker is not certain of the expert’s specific field of study. Not necessarily derogatory, but typically used by persons without a technical background. In the US, the equivalent would be “egghead”, “squint”, or “geek.”

Origin of the word is unknown. Started sometime in World War 2. Given the typical evolution of British slang, could easily have started because what these experts did was confusing or “baffling” to the common person.
According to the boffins downstairs, the murderer used a serrated blade.
Boffin by Agnon February 11, 2023
Word of the Day on October 3, 2026

Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Pee Calculus by anorlondo October 1, 2026
Word of the Day on October 2, 2026
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