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Matturbater 

A nickname for a chronic masturbator.
It is an amazing creature, known for its tendency to consistently lean to the right under the weight of its own right arm.

Is usually found in a basement, a library, hell anywhere where there is porn to access.

When not in its lair of porn, it is out wandering the mysterious environment known as `not watching porn`with extreme beadhead, greasy hair and a dark green hoodie with a broken zipper.

Also, it seems to blame the death of a computer on its siblings watching too much DBZ.
People chillin` , not knowing a matturbater is in the midst of their group: ``I`m going to fuckin pass out.``

Matturbater: (In its head) ``team america, FUCK YEAH. lol jk im gonna matturbate because there`s a computer with no password right here and not delete the history``
Matturbater by DeonGGG June 28, 2010

Macturbater

One who buys and promotes the use of Apple products on the grounds that they are "the best computers in the world" but is largely ignorant about computer tech and other industry facts.

A full-fledged macturbater owns and operates the latest and greatest Apple products. They may brag about their "16GB of RAM and Retina Display" when they typically only use those features to watch porn and/or Instagram pictures of their cats with the hashtag #iphoneonly.
Stefan purchased the latest Macbook Pro and won't shut up about how great 16GB of RAM is. He uses it to photoshop photos and maybe occasionally develop CSS. I can do all that with my 5 year old Dell running Windows XP. He's such a Macturbater.
Macturbater by legittalon July 1, 2012

Facebook Masturbater 

Creepy teens who look for seductive pictures of their friends in order to become aroused
dude, she has the hottest picture, makes me want to be a facebook masturbater.

maturbatory literature 

Literature that can be used to excite ones fantasies. Also called literotica or erotica for short. Usually pertains to things considered taboo in today's world.
I seen a story about father daughter sex in Jacobs room. He must be into maturbatory literature.
maturbatory literature by ToxicAgate September 10, 2015

masturbaters 

one who jerks it not only multiple times a week but multiple times a day. the kind of person you would find beating there dick in your own house or even infront of you. A person who if gets stuck in an elevator for even 5 minutes will have already wacked their magic stick once or twice. A kind of person you would find in the middle of math class with their hand in their pocket wiggling around alot letting out akward grunts. A person who can cry white tears just looking at a barbie doll.
-pete: *wiggle wiggle grunt* "Teacher may i go to the bathroom"

-teacher: "thats the second time this hour pete.."

-pete: " Im sorry I drank alot of OJ juice today (actually bj juice) I have an overactive bladder" (well he has an overactive something thats for sure)
masturbaters by Whatever April 6, 2005

chronic masturbater 

one who masturbates their whole life
im a chronic masturbater. i love to jack off. i can jack off and listen to my favorite music at the same time. "Wu tang clan aint nothin to mess with"
chronic masturbater by hgfhs August 12, 2005
More from Urban Dictionary

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026
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