Macturbater

One who buys and promotes the use of Apple products on the grounds that they are "the best computers in the world" but is largely ignorant about computer tech and other industry facts.

A full-fledged macturbater owns and operates the latest and greatest Apple products. They may brag about their "16GB of RAM and Retina Display" when they typically only use those features to watch porn and/or Instagram pictures of their cats with the hashtag #iphoneonly.

Stefan purchased the latest Macbook Pro and won't shut up about how great 16GB of RAM is. He uses it to photoshop photos and maybe occasionally develop CSS. I can do all that with my 5 year old Dell running Windows XP. He's such a Macturbater.

Macturbater by legittalon July 1, 2012

masturbate and switch 

Masturbate and switch — the erotic KINK of having sex with one person while thinking of another; or, of talking dirty to a sexual partner and allowing them to verbally — either from your mouth or theirs — acknowledge deep sexual attraction for another person; or, for an extreme sexual scenario.

This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!

On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.

On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.

Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!

Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!

But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!

Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!

Him: Wow, that was a quick orgasm, babe!!! You must have been really horny.

Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!

Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!

masturbate and switch by Mind Hunter the Profiler June 21, 2023

Masturbaker's dozen 

The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.

'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'

Masturbaker's dozen by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016

Macsturbator 

1. A self-righteous, blindly optimistic, and outspoken proponent of Apple products.

2. An Apple Fanboy.

Adam: "I LOVE my Mac. OS X is PERFECT! That's why it NEVER gets viruses!"

Bob: "No, OS X doesn't gets viruses because 98% of the world uses PCs, Macsturbator."

Macsturbator by CleffedUp July 31, 2009

masturbate 

Act people commit when browsing Urban Dictionary

All these definitions make me want to masturbate

masturbate by 32121 July 22, 2016

Personal Masturbatory Rolodex (PMR) 

n;stored mental images to which one masturbates. abbrv - PMR.

see also spankbank

That girl is so hot. I am entering her into my Personal Masturbatory Rolodex (PMR)

Personal Masturbatory Rolodex (PMR) by optic_fuel August 27, 2008

chronic masturbator 

A person who masturbates more than 3 times a day, and cannot go a day with out masturbation.

Friend: Bro! did you hear that Johnny filled up a 2 little jar with cum.
you: ya I heard he is a chronic masturbator 1

chronic masturbator by MexicanPog November 16, 2020