masturhating

The equivalent of a cock block, but when it happens during solo masturbation. Someone knocking on the door while a man is jacking off inside would be masturhating.

Jon: So what'd you do yesterday man?
Alex: I was bored as shit so I was just jacking off until my brother knocked on the door. Totally masturhating.

masturhating by Admiral_A1 July 7, 2010

Masturhating

Masturbating as an act of hatred/violence. Usually involving ejaculation onto other people's furniture, valuable items, and carpets.

Yesterday, I snuck into Connor's house and Masturhated all over his carpet, and parts of the wall.

I was up all last night Masturhating on my roommate's things while he was away.

Masturhating by Masturhater September 2, 2010

Masturhating

You hate yourself for masturbating to a specific thing

Lee was totally masturhating when he saw hentai for the first time

Masturhating by I R Awesome October 15, 2009

Masturhating

The act of hating things that no one else cares about alone. Repeatedly.

"Julie has been masturhating like mad! She bitches constantly about hating her boss, but no one else gives a fuck."

Masturhating by adrug December 27, 2007

masturbating to the dictionary 

A phrase used as a comeback to a Grammar Nazi or to someone who says “grammar is sexy” during a conversation. It can be used in any situation to respond to someone who tries to shame you on your grammar.

i.e.
txt msg exchange
Timmy: Yo Jake, you wanna come over to Jason’s place to smoke after school? Meghan and Jill are coming over and I’m sure your have a dope time with us.
Jake: You mean *you’ll have a dope time.
Timmy: Dude, are you masturbating to the dictionary at your house? Don’t be such a Grammar Nazi.

Lucy: Hey Jamie, do you think Alex is doing good today after the party last night? You think he’s interested in hanging out later?
Jamie: You mean, doing WELL after the party…? Damn Lucy, grammar is sexy just an fyi.
Lucy: Wtf Jamie, when did you start masturbating to the dictionary?

masturbating to the dictionary by runninghighkid August 4, 2018

masturbating

What you're doing when using urban dictionary.

I'm masturbating.

masturbating by ccthz January 27, 2021

furiously masturbating 

A type of masturbating practiced by reclusives who fear that their masturbatory time may be limited.

This is generally not the case, giving furious masterbaters a proclivity to masturbate a lot.

Instead of playing beer pong and sleazing on grimbos, Alex spent the night in his room, furiously masturbating.

furiously masturbating by AXAdartmouth April 16, 2009