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A mackeral is a word used in London and the surrounding countys to describe a wannabe gangsta. These are people who try to intimidate others by threatening them with gangster actions such as 'spraying them wiv their Ak's' or 'merking them with their mandem'. However, any attempt to do so would be futlye. The perpertrators are normally 'wastemanz' or 'hairdressers' who try to make themselves feel better by trying to act cool and hard.
Martyn: oi blud , call up yo' Peter Pandem, we gots bare beef wiv rob da hairdresser

Matt: aaww Allow bruv, that bredrin is a Mackeral. I slew manz like dat on da reg just fo jizzlez.

Martyn: Brrrrrrrllllllaaaaap.
mackeral by Jack Da Rippa February 1, 2006
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Mackeral Fart 

A gasous odor omitting from either a human or dog's anus that combines the smell of typical anal glands, with the raunchous smell of a bloody mackeral laid out for days in the back of a boat.
Damn, have you been by Merle's office recently? Makes me want to puke on a mackeral every time I walk by. That guy is laying mackeral farts down left and right.
Mackeral Fart by Bling, The Original February 12, 2008

Mackeral Mike

A name that can be addressed to a tall male who has a humourous and 'nerdy' disposition. Can also be a code word for some boy you fancy. A very off-putting (and frankly confusing) name for those randomers who are secretly eavesdropping your convo.
"You seen "Mackeral Mike" lately?"
"Nah, he hasn't cycled past my house in days"
"I thought you had a thing...?"
"Yes, we do"

OR:

"He's such a Mackeral Mike!"
Mackeral Mike by VerrucaSalt March 22, 2009

holy mackeral

holy sainted fish of surprise, a fish that has been lifted to saint hood
"Holy Mackeral Batman, the Penguin is going for the sushi gun!"
holy mackeral by elgemstar April 23, 2007

wet mackeral 

when you slap a girl in the face with your dick after having sex
Alright now that were done im going to wet mackeral you until you turn red.
wet mackeral by iamasexpartaker January 15, 2010

Red Mackerel 

A obvious mistake made intentionally for your boss to discover. Making your boss feel useful and allowing other mistakes to go unnoticed.
Put a Red Mackerel in that report so we don’t have to redo the whole thing.
Red Mackerel by Bob Greaton October 1, 2019

Holy Mother Mackerel