This is generally performed by a maiden for a gentleman, however, roles may be reversed. Similar to a lap dance, a woman jives on a man's lap. Here's the catch--the small difference is that the job giver and receiver are naked. #pantsless #pleasurable #crotchsaddle
Alone and naked, Gerald and June got hot and bothered while listening to Jack Johnson. June mounted Gerald as he asked her for a lap job. Five minutes later, the neighbors know her name.
When a woman (preferably a dancer/stripper) gives you a lapdance without your pants on. This lapdance must be so well executed that you, in fact, cum all over the inside of her thighs. Then, you pour cocaine all over the semen and then make the woman snort the cocaine/semen mixture from her thigh area.
Not to be confused with a lapdance and subsequent blowjob.
I paid a Chinese hooker 300 dollars to perform a lapjob blowdance last night for me. She told me I had to supply the blow. About 40 minutes in, she had a stroke and died. The quality of strippers around here is getting really bad.
When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
The hypothetical man (often a sinistercharacter who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.