A legend amongst others. Stronger than any, and more balls than a soccer academy. Women fall at their feet, whilst men envy and
try to be them. Kirkham is not just a
name, its an honour. Kirkham is also translated as: Pleasurer of women. A woman has not experienced
true intercourse until a Kirkham has ploughed his way through her, forever changing her life. No other man
will ever match this female destroying pleasure. If approached by a Kirkham, play dead. This is the only way to deter them. A Kirkham cannot see an object properly if it remains still.
"Shit, it's a Kirkham. Play dead so you won't be seen"
"I had sex with a Kirkham,
now I'm in A&E"
"I had sex with a Kirkham,
now I'm Paralysed"
"
Wow, did you see the size of that Kirkham's meat wrench?"