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A legend amongst others. Stronger than any, and more balls than a soccer academy. Women fall at their feet, whilst men envy and try to be them. Kirkham is not just a name, its an honour. Kirkham is also translated as: Pleasurer of women. A woman has not experienced true intercourse until a Kirkham has ploughed his way through her, forever changing her life. No other man will ever match this female destroying pleasure. If approached by a Kirkham, play dead. This is the only way to deter them. A Kirkham cannot see an object properly if it remains still.
"Shit, it's a Kirkham. Play dead so you won't be seen"

"I had sex with a Kirkham, now I'm in A&E"

"I had sex with a Kirkham, now I'm Paralysed"

"Wow, did you see the size of that Kirkham's meat wrench?"
by PissPumper November 13, 2013
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