Extreme Caution must be taken when entering jack pine
savage territory. They are territorial, and may cook you for food if they are hungry.
The savages can be easily identified by their trailer park lifestyle, while usually owning more than 10acres. Often they will have multiple cars, campers, half finished projects, and other rubbish seemingly scattered around their domicile, but refuse to get rid of any of it for a plethora of reasons.
Scientist are unsure if the jack pine tree itself contributes to the savages behavior, or if the hole in the ozone layer has centered itself in the area leading to brain damage. However the savages tend to migrate toward areas already inhabited by the jack pine, or jack spruce
trees.
Though claiming little to no income for most of their lives, they have enough vehicles, and other assorted reasonably expensive items such as
broken farm equipment, that the
IRS and Bernie Sanders, are looking for a way to
tax the savages on their collection.
The savages can often be found at the local watering
hole, from open to close.
They typically communicate within their community using a combination of English, grunts, and
hillbilly. Dialects vary from
one territory to another.
Headed up to the cabin, we had to drive through jack pine
savage territory, we saw a couple of them adding a wrecked Toyota Corolla to their front
yard collection.
