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Intoxication Scale 

A means of indicating how intoxicated you are to others.

Scale definitions:
0% - Stone cold sober
30-80% - "Head clear" zone. The point where you have a buzz but are not fully intoxicated.
50% - You are too drunk to drive (legally)
100% - Fully (and comfortably) intoxicated
150% - "No longer fun" drunk (ie. slurring, stumbling and making an ass out of yourself)
200% - So drunk that you will puke at some point (could be the next day)
300% - So drunk you pass out
400% - Death is near
Person 1: "How drunk are you on the intoxication scale?"
Person 2: "I'm a solid 70%, you?"
Person 1: "I'm already at 100%"
Person 2: "Nice. I need to drink faster to catch up."
Intoxication Scale by Vic320 February 4, 2010

intoxication station 

Point of no return while drinking. You could stop, but if you stay on the drinking train past intoxication station, you are getting extremely wasted for sure.
Wow, that dude hit intoxication station and kept right on going. I bet he pees the bed tonight.

intoxication notification 

an unnecessary statement of one’s drunkenness when one is obviously not drunk
(Friend A enters room, yelling, 5 minutes after beer has arrived) Friend A: Holy shit guys, I am so wasted! (Friend immediately tries to justify drunkenness by falling over a chair)
Friend B: Thanks for the intoxication notification, jackass!

Inverse Intoxication Principle

The principle stating that people who say that they are "soo drunk right not" are usually fairly sober, while people who say they are "not that drunk" are usually highly intoxicated.
Max: Dude, I swear I'm not that drunk.

Sam: You just pissed in our trashcan asshole. I think you're pretty fucked up right now.

Kyle: Yeah he's gone. Perfect example of the Inverse Intoxication Principle.

Anal intoxication

The proccess of taking a tampon, soaking it in some type of liquor, then sticking it up your butt and leaving it there all day. Alchohol reaches your blood stream faster and requires less amounts to get you drunk. Blow tests do not register your intoxication.
"Hey I just did some anal intoxication and got really drunk during school!" "You have a problem you sick bitch."

premature intoxication 

Getting wasted prior to leaving the house for a bar, party, or anywhere else you were planning on having drinks
Holy crap, did you guys see Craig last night? We went to his condo to have a few drinks before hitting the club, but he had already consumed enough vodka to cause a premature intoxication situation.
premature intoxication by 2dguy December 9, 2008