This is freakin' hillaryarious:
Hillary Takes Muslim Name
TERRORIST ACTIVITY HAS CAUSED HILLARY CLINTON TO TAKE MEASURES IN ORDER TO PROTECT HER CANDIDACY FOR
THE 2016 PRESIDENCY.
FOR SECURITY REASONS, HILLARY HAS CHOSEN A MUSLIM NAME.
SO FROM NOW ON, PLEASE USE HER NEW MUSLIM NAME: "SELDOM BIN LAYED"
As we get closer to the election, we must remember that we cannot trust Hillary Clinton to create American jobs.
The last time she had a simple job to do, she outsourced it to Monica Lewinsky.....
When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!
With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
The hypothetical man (often a sinistercharacter who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.
I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.