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Herporrhoids

A major flair up of external hemorrhoids and herpes as a result of getting ass fucked by an anal intruder that failed to take Valtrex, and failed to inform you that they needed to...now YOU need Valtrex AND Preparation H.
Herpes plus Hemorrhoids equals Herporrhoids
by Blumpski March 28, 2009
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Hermorrhoid

1) Any uncomfortable or painful swelling or growths associated with female reproductive or digestive organs, i.e. uterine fibroids

2) A female pain-in-the-ass
Cathy: "Sarah, why are you being such a hermorrhoid today?"

Sarah: "Cut me a break, bitch! My hermorrhoids are acting up again!"
by tnunnster October 7, 2010
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Hemorrhoids

When your anus hurts because there's not enough fiber in your diet or you ate a ghost pepper or you destroyed your ass with a dragon dildo, causing massive inflammation.
What the fuck was God thinking when He packed tons of nerve clusters and veins into the anus area?!?!?! Didn't He know that people would get painful Hemorrhoids?!?!?! Didn't he know that I and countless others would be suffering to death at the hands of old age due to His poor decisions?!?!?!
by Bad C dev February 28, 2021
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Hemorrhoids

Bleeding from the asshole.
My hemorrhoids are stinging and have stained my jocks.
by Ausstralian November 14, 2007
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John Wayne hemorrhoids

The sound of large amounts of change banging against one's leg whilst wearing loose trousers. So named because of the similarity with the sound of cowboy boot spurs.
"I went to the shop this morning to buy a packet of Apple Hubba Bubba. I only had a £20 note but they had no fivers or tenners! So I've now got a pocket of Cunt's Tender and a very bad case of the John Wayne hemorrhoids."
by Skinbro July 20, 2008
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I have serious hemorrhoids!

A pickup line made from the gods.

You can put it on a mug and every woman that sees it immediately falls in love with you.
Guy: I have serious hemorrhoids!
Girl: Ew!
Guy: :(
GIrl: Im just kidding its so hot
by SpaghettiLover609 December 16, 2022
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You and your hemorrhoids

A Derogative term to address a party, implying that the party has hemorrhoids. This phrase is used for embarrasment rather than sheer insulting.
You and your hemorrhoids better get the fuck outta my sight before I ream your ass!
by Gumba Gumba February 26, 2004
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