Hand Jack

The act of putting your penis into an unsuspecting and sleeping victim's hand. While being careful not to wake the person, you proceed to thrust your hips until climax. The next morning the person will awake with crusted semen in/on their hand not know where it may have come from.

My god Sandra, after I passed out last night, I think Steve may have come into my room and hand jacked me.

by Stumpie2012 June 13, 2009

fast hand jack

a person who spends 20 to 21 hours a day learning pointless skills in any sport or activity.
-football
-poker
-teabaggin
-avin a ogwin
-turkish googelin'

fast hand jack-guys i can now do it 5 times faster (in any of the above)

by rjhawkins August 25, 2006

handful-of-jacks

1. When a male strokes his penis up and down, slow at first but soon speeds up until he shoots his load. Normally onto a stroke book

2. A male getting himself off with his own hand

3. To jack-off, jerk-off or beat your meat.

1. While looking at my favorite jerk-off magazine, I played five card draw with handful-of-jacks.

2. I played five card draw with a handful-of-jacks all over my keyboard again.

3. After getting cock blocked at the bar by Mr. Jock, I once again went home and played five card draw with a handful-of-jacks.

by Mister jack Fister November 28, 2007

Edward Jack Hands

Similar to the drinking game Edward 40 hands, which involves taping 40 oz malt liquor bottles to each hand and consuming them as fast as possible. The major difference is that a fifth of jack daniels is substituted, which for all but the most hardened alcoholics should end in liver failure and death.

Oh fuck! Did you hear how he died? That shitbag was trying to be a hardass by playing Edward Jack Hands.

When I die I want to go out by playing Edward Jack Hands in a lawn chair on the white house lawn, live on National television.

by Big Sizzler December 7, 2008