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omg are you friends with haagr, lets get married!
haagr by Haagr115 November 25, 2021
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Sammy Hagar paradox 

First seen in his song entitled "I Can't Drive 55" it describes the notion that it is physically impossible for Sammy Hagar to travel at the speed of 55 mph (miles per hour). No matter what mode of transportation whether it is a car, bike, airplane, etc, it is impossible for him to travel exactly 55 mph. The speedometer on any transportation device that Sammy Hagar occupies will never read the speed of 55 mph. Instead it will skip over 55 mph to 56 mph or 54 mph (depending on whether the vehicle is increasing or deceasing speed). Therefore, it is thought that perhaps Sammy Hagar possess some power that allows him to bend time and space to his will, but only at the speed of 55 mph. This act of bending time and space is currently being researched by Professor Stephen Hawking the British theoretical physicist.
I saw Sammy Hagar today in his car with one foot on the brake and one on the gas and i swear that he couldn't go 55 mph...its that damn Sammy Hagar paradox

When ever Sammy Hagar looks at a 55 mph speed limit sign it spontaneously combust

You can take Sammy Hagar's licence and post his face, wanted dead or alive, but it doesn't matter because he can't drive 55

Five Hargreeves 

Character from Gerard Way's "The Umbrella Academy". He's the fifth member who has the ability to time travel and teleport. In an attempt to time travel he got stuck in the future and when he returned to the present he was stuck in his body from when he was 13. His actual age being 58. He's married to a beautiful mannequin named Dolores. Also, he would kill for a decent cup of coffee. I recommend you watch the show, it's on Netflix.
Luther (aka number 1): But that's murder
Five Hargreeves: Jesus Luther, grow up
Five Hargreeves by d-o-o-t-e-r April 2, 2019

Ben Hargreeves 

A legend. An icon. A queen.
He blesses the world with his Bentacles and Klaus Hargreeves with his brain cell.
Someone: "I really miss Ben Hargreeves"
Klaus: "I really wish he would shut up"

n00beus Hagrid 

Rubeus Hagrid's n00bish brother who spends his days cultiv8ing pygmy squirrels at his est8 up in h0mie n00bia to exhibit at pygmy squirrel exhibitions. Expert in shanter.
Rubeus Hagrid: heyyo n00beus Hagrid wot've ye up to l8ly?
n00beus hagrid: you know, you know, just cultiv8ing some homie pygmy squirrels
Rubeus Hagrid: n0000000000b that is some shanter

Hargrave Free School 

Hargrave Free School, sometimes referred to as "Satan's Triangle" is a barbaric torture sanctuary that opened in 1999 consisting of brainless wonders for SLT, and incompetent suck ups for teachers. They use corporal punishment and emotional abuse in order to "succeed" as a school. I personally think this school did nothing for any of the teachers or students except leave them scarred for the rest of their childhood.
"Goodness, do you hear all that destruction and chaos? It's coming from over there!"
"Oh that building? That's Hargrave Free School. Gosh I'm never sending my kid to that catastrophic zoo."