The cutest lil bean. Can (and might) actually kill you. Can jump through space and time. He jumped, but he never acorned. Looks 13, but is actually 58. Loves black coffee and Dolores. Don’t fuck with him.
Person 1:“Oh you know Five?”
Person 2:“Yeah”
Person 1: “AND YOU ARE ACTUALLY ALIVE?!”
by dumb hoe 1234 April 17, 2019
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Character of the Umbrella Academy comic by Dark Horse. Small boy with the mind of a 58-year-old man, he was trapped in the ruins of Earth for 45 years (give or take), recruited by The Commission as an assassin, and returned to his deranged family in 2019. Upon his arrival home after what was to his siblings 17 years, he attempts to stop the apocalypse running on coffee, alcohol, and the encouragement of a mannequin. He celebrates with margaritas and contemplation of his future.
“Does anyone else see... little Number Five, or... is that just me?”
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a 58-year-old man trapped in a 13-year-old body
a time traveler
and a badass assassin

go down if you don't understand

(don't take this serious it's a joke for the umbrella academy)
I wanna be a five
He acts like a five
by egg,kid April 4, 2019
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Military Intelligence, Section 5, or MI5, the British Security Service, as shown in the TV show "Spooks" (called "MI-5" in U.S. broadcasts). Responsible for counterespionage and domestic security, roughly analogous to the FBI. Based in Thames House on Millbank, London.
That guy in the suit is in Five, I'm sure of it. See how he's looking at us?
by Billy Frank May 28, 2008
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Five is an another word for cool.
Man, that's a five shirt.
by Johnny Talb April 18, 2014
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A high-performance, foreign car with a five-speed transmission
"Always wanted fame/Always wanted cash/To live fast/Get the girls with the biggest ass/Fuck a 9 to 5/Gotta drive a five/Now that I got it, the hardest thing to do is stay alive." -Nas
by DickShunery June 22, 2012
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