A Female E-mail is when somebody sends you a single text that is so long it turns into multiple text messages.
"Dude what the Fuck did you have to female email me like that for? It made no sense. Just call me next time it will take both of us less time to figure out what you are trying to tell me," you say.
"Whats a female email?" he asks.
"It is when you send me a message over 150 characters that is a bitch to read, like you just did. It was five messages scattered in a fucked up order! It took me five minutes to figure out what u were saying." you say.
Gainful, probably fully remote employment where your only responsibility is to respond to emails. Fake email jobs can be accomplished whilst drinking at a bar, or from a beach in the Bahamas. It's not a fake email job if you actually contribute directly to the company's product or service, nor if you hold an executive role where your decisions have a real impact on lots of people. Fake email jobs are more in line with middle-management roles.
Enrique used to be a software developer, but after five years at IBM he got promoted to a fake email job and had a daughter. Now his whole job consists of sending pithy emails between diaper changes and trips to the park with his family.
An individual who approaches someone's desk or workstation in a work environment almost immediately after sending them an email, usually to confirm that the email has been received.
Bill: I just sent you an email. Did you get it?
Mike: Probably, I haven't checked.
Bill: Can you check?
Mike: Uh yeah, looks like I got it.
Bill: Thoughts?
Mike: My immediate thoughts are you're an email courier and a douchebag.