drunkenness 

How heavily an individual is intoxicated/drunk and forthcoming consequences as a result

Man, my drunkenness is starting to get the better of me; I want to pork your sister.

drunkenness by bantaclause January 27, 2015

Late Night Drunkenness (LND) 

The effect that staying up late has on a person, similar to the effects of drunkenness. Victims often say and do silly, inappropriate, or personal things that they would not if it were not so late.

The effects may set in at different times of night for different people, depending on when they consider being "up late" to occur.

Someone may share embarrassing stories, secrets about friends, or personal relationship drama when they are suffering from LND.

People often follow these stories with comments like: "Wow, I wouldn't have told you that if it wasn't so late! I must be suffering from Late Night Drunkenness (LND)!"

Late Night Drunkenness (LND) by Candia Posse August 3, 2012

Optimal Drunkenness 

The point during the night when the alcohol level in the bloodstream provides the most buzz with the least chance of discomfort later.

In economic terms: the point at which the marginal product of drinking meets the marginal cost of drinking.

After 7 beers and 3 shots of vodka, I reached optimal drunkeness and partied all night.

Optimal Drunkenness by Chris Cole December 5, 2004

Tiers of drunkenness 

1.Zach Laffin
-repeatedly saying you are going to bed, only to return and drink half a beer more
-calling someone "Hey you, with the feet"
-Spilling Mt. Dew and calling it 'your beerz'

2. Wooden Hammer
-shirts come off
-Everyone is your friend

3.Hammered
-Self explanatory

4.ShitFaced
-Belligerently drunk

5.Iron Horse
-Fuckin' gone
-If anyone can function Iron Horsed they deserve a crown

Tiers of drunkenness

1. Andrew:"I was Zach Laffining last night and I was tickling this chick's toes."
Emily: "Man I know, but dude, you were just tipsy."

2. Zach:"I had four beers and was still a wooden hammer. Bummer dude."

3. Andrew:"I am intoxicated"
Zach: "Shut up buddy."

4. Zach: I was shitfaced and tried to go through the doggie door while chasing the cat."

5. Emily:"I was working my way to iron horse status, but passed out between wooden hammer and hammered."
Andrew: "Lightweight."

Tiers of drunkenness by Rockisland April 19, 2009

Drunkenese 

The prevailing language of Alchoholopia and its prevailing Drunken Commonwealths. Considered by many as one of the easiest to learn and most universally popular of the languages, Drunkenese is still not considered a viable language credit in most accredited instututions of higher learning.

If you are unsure whether or not a speaker of an unfamiliar language is in actuality speaking Drunkanese, look for these tell-tale signs: Excessive salivating, repeated catch phrase quoting, propensity to trail off or tell stories that never really go anywhere, horizontalness, spontaneous projectile vomiting, and a tendency to overestimate audience's level of interest in speaker.

Speakers of Drunkenese are occasionally confused with having a degenerative brain disorder.

If you are interested in learning more about Drunkenese, check out a bottle of Royal Crown from your local liquor store and study, all night if you have to.

Man 1: "Hey...thees parteee izzz tha...shiiii...uhm...hey...man I just like totally downed uhm 5 Jager shots and...Im Rick James bitch!"

Man 2: "Im sorry. I dont speak Drunkenese. Where are your pants?"

Drunkenese by Habeeb the Defiler May 28, 2005

drunkenese 

(n.) <Capitalized> the language spoken by those who have consumed large enough quantities of alcohol to become legally intoxicated, usually marked by slurring or incomprehensibility of each word spoken

(adj.) of, relating to, or characterized by those who have consumed large enough quantities of alcohol to become legally intoxicated

Had the bum not spoken in his native dialect, Drunkenese, he may have more easily convinced the tourists to lend him a dollar.

drunkenese by Felix Doore November 2, 2008

Drunkness monster

When a quiet nice person turns into a raging loony when he/she is intoxicated.

Matt is usually the nicest person to be around, but he drank a bottle of jack last night and smashed a dead cat over his brothers windshield. He is such a Drunkness Monster.

Drunkness monster by gchytuvhj January 26, 2009