It's a lightweight craft used by douches to move around on the figurative conversational currents to spread their message of doucheness to new individuals who were blissfully unaware of their existence. It also has cupholders, which is the only redeeming quality of the douchecanoe.
"Wow, did you hear what Jim had to say at the party last night?"
"Yeah, he came from nowhere on his douchecanoe and madeeveryone feel uncomfortable."
Someone who intentionally targets and expels douchebaggery to his/her victims. Unlike a douchebag, though sometimes confused, that unintentionally expels douchebaggery to victims. Being a douchecanoe is the apex of douchebaggery going from prick, dick, asshole, douche, douchebag, and finally douchecanoe in progressive order.
It's like everyone is living in an ocean and people all float. Douchebags are floating too but unintentionally hit people and release their douchebaggery, meanwhile douchecanoes target people that they've want to fuck with.
Dylan: Dude I have a story to tell, so my roommate.. or ex roommate... banged my girl in my bed when I went to go take a shower and then left the semen on my pillow so when I layed down that night I almost put my head on it.
Wolfy: l feel for you man, that guy's a douchecanoe!
it’s where someone is being an asshole and it’s a nice way to say to build a boat cry me a river and float the fuck away or a nice of way of saying to build a bridge and get over it.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.