Dick Shelf

A place for a man to rest his penis after sex.
Friend 1: Aw man I just had the best threesome of my life, mind if I use this as a dick shelf?
Friend 2: Dude, that's my keyboard!

or

Friend 2: Dude, that's my girlfriend's head!
Friend 1: Yea, she makes a good dick shelf.
by FishHookers February 20, 2008
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Shelf Dick

When a man's dick is so small and feeble that it perches on his ball-sack acting as a shelf. Consequently, his piss runs down his balls before it reaches the toilet.
I dated this one girl for three months until she pulled down my pants and saw my shelf dick.

"Excuse me nurse..I do not know how to apply this catheter there are no instructions for if you have a shelf dick."

Bob: "Hey Ricky why do you sit down when you piss and it sounds like a leaky pipe?"

Ricky: "I was born with a shelf dick. If I stand up I will just piss all over myself."
by 352 Boys April 05, 2011
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Dick On The Shelf

Dick On The Shelf or D.O.T.S refers to a strategy girls use when their relationship falls through or their routine dick appointmentgoes south on them. This commonly occurs when the guy is not hip enough to realize that he's been put on the back burner until she has use for him. Until then, he will not hear from said female because she's "busy".
Buddy 1: Weird thing just happened. This girl that I haven't heard from in weeks just waved to me on Facebook because I'm nearby.
Buddy 2: Yeah her F.W.B just ended and you're her Dick On The Shelf
Buddy 1: Dick on the shelf ?
Buddy 2: Yup, D.O.T.S homie.
by Syrpgangwaffuldaeus August 03, 2018
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Top Shelf Dick

Phrase of endearment coined by the infamous C. Storm. Humbly referring to another man possesing the following qualities: a) tall, b)a brother of Sigma Chi, c)plays basketball, d)fancies red-heads, e) has a large penis.
"Wow, Trudi is going to date Joe Brown. She's going to get some Top Shelf Dick."

Also see the following words: "Storm," "Joe Brown"
by Christian "Oaf" Storm October 30, 2007
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