Diagnosticism 

A new religion that IT technicians can call their own.

Hey man, wanna join the religion I just created for technicians, geeks and nerds? It's called diagnosticism.

Diagnosticism by DelphinusMinor May 17, 2010

diagnosticise 

To diagnose or to fix a technical problem with style or flair

"Frankie, lemme diagnosticise your phone"

diagnosticise by Big-AJ April 7, 2013

Ricer Diagnostics 

righ-sir-die-ag-nos-ticks

1) A person who clearly has no idea about how car engines work, but will add up all the engine modifications he has/plans to get with preconcieved horsepower figures to show how fast his car is.

2)A person who looks like hes working on his engine, but he's really just making sure his intake didn't fall off yet and he has no idea what he is doing or what is wrong with his car.

1) (man performing ricer diagnostics) "yea, well the car has 120 hp stock, but i got a intake, muffler, and performance tuner, so its got like 160 hp now, cuz the intakes 15 hp, the mufflers 15 hp, and the chips 10.

2) yea man, theres smoke coming outta the transfuxfibulator there, i just gotta retune my muffler bearings and it should be even faster than before.

Ricer Diagnostics by unclepeanuts May 17, 2011

run some diagnostics on the commode 

A formal way of saying "take a shit"

Tikh: Hey where ya headed to so fast?
Dylan: I just had my morning coffee, and now I gotta run some diagnostics on the commode!

run some diagnostics on the commode by Lil' Enyaw December 11, 2016

quest diagnostics 

The place everyone goes to if they have to submit a drug test. Typically when starting a job but could be a court summons.

Quest diagnostics made me pee in a cup for my drug test.

quest diagnostics by Brookeshanks September 30, 2017