Defacon 

Rating used to describe how bad you have to shit. Best used during long trips:

Defacon 6: Normal shitting procedures. You have no worry about public restrooms.

Defacon 5: Normal shitting procedures. You could probably shit if upon request, like a monkey. Should be able to surpass pooformance anxiety.

Defacon 4: Something's up. Somehow, someway, you know somethings going to go wrong today. It might be the big one, it might not. Either way, you're going to drop the kids off at the pool sometime in the next 24 hours.

Defacon 3: You can feel it moving in your gut. Rearrange plans accordingly. Max safe distance from toilet: 1 hour

Defacon 2: The shit is imminent. You should already have been on your way to the shitter. Max safe distance from toilet: 5 minutes.

Defacon 1: turtling prairie dogging sharting Max safe distance from toilet: NONE

Defacon 0: Crisis Averted, pass me some new pants.

Defacon 2 alert! If you value your seats, you'll pull over at the next stop.
or
Sure I can go to the movie, but I feel like I'm at defacon 3 so you might have to catch me up on some parts later.

Defacon by zibbazabba905 May 5, 2011

John Deacon 

John Deacon is the bassist of the well popular band - Queen. His nickname is Deaky. Some people argue over the fact that it's spelled Deacy and not Deaky, but we don't talk about that. He has said in many interviews that Freddie was his best friend. Some people ship them as a couple (Deacury) but guess what, we don't talk about that either. John is a dancing queen, hense his second nickname Disco Deaky. In the new movie Bohemian Rhapsody he is played by the actor Joe Mazzello who is very similar to John.

Girl 1: I just saw a new leaked image of John Deacon!
Girl 2: Wtf, we need to take it down! The man deserves his privacy!

John Deacon by Joe likes Mozzarella January 6, 2019

John Deacon 

The purest man in the universe. Is cute af, and is also known as Deaky. He has been in hiding for over twenty-two years for good purposes. He has huge yee-haw vibes in The Invisible Man video, and is a Dancing Queen. He is also a part of a band called Queen, which is the greatest band ever. Deaky is a father of six children, and I want him to be MINE.

Friend: Who is that ugly guy that is dancing weirdly?
Me: He is John Deacon AND HE IS NOT UGLY YOU MOTHER-FUCKER IS IS CUTE AF, A DANCING QWEEN AND HAS ALL MY UWU'S. YOU ARE OFFICIALLY OFF MY FRIEND LIST!!!

John Deacon by DiscoDeakyismyHUSBAND March 27, 2019

John Deacon 

Legendary bassist of the legendary rock band Queen. Wrote songs such as Another One Bites the Dust and You're My Best Friend. #1 Person to steal your cheese on toast. Softest guy on earth. King of t-posing. Has the most precious teeth gap. Marry him 'cause he's faithful af.

Oh My! John Deacon ate my cheese on toast!

John Deacon by brianmay.king January 24, 2019

John Deacon 

John Deacon was the Legendary Bass Player from the Rock Group Queen, Retired in 1997

Mike: Who is that wicked bassist on Another One Bites the Dust
Imputanium: Well mike thats John Deacon

John Deacon by Imputanium September 28, 2006

john deacon 

john deacon is the bassist form the band queen. he has written bops such as “I want to break free”, “you’re my best friend” and more

he deserves the world because he is the cutest little bean ever and his mushroom like hair is the most adorable thing you will see in your entire life

he’s also known for his dancing in queen concerts where he shows that he’s a iconic dancing queen
in the movie “bohemian rhapsody” john is played by joe mazzello that is another cute little bean and if someone hurts him i’m gonna throw hands

girl 1: do you know who john deacon is?
girl 2: no

girl 1:
girl 1: get out of here

john deacon by reddiepotato February 23, 2019

John Deacon 

The cutest bean ever alive. Bassist for the band Queen. A legend. Deaky or Deacy? we don't talk about that. Well, everyone loves him.

me: John Deacon is so cute
friend: wait, are you talking about that ugly, shy guy from the band Queen?
me:
me: what

John Deacon by Amvi January 31, 2019