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A useful material to wipe a wank on... carpets or curtains will do..
Couldn’t find a sock... had to use the curpet
Curpet by chidules July 19, 2019
Words you can keep

Carpet python 

The dick of a couch.
Look, I’m not trying to yuck anyone’s yum here if you’re all wild about carpet pythons, I just wanna sit.
Carpet python by Skyfire1228 June 16, 2018

carpet munchies 

A heightened desire to perform cunnilingus following inhalation or ingestion of delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, the psychoactive compound in cannabis sativa.

Colloquially: really wanting to "eat pussy" after smoking marijuana.
Man, I was watching a movie with my girl the other night and after my second or third bong rip I really got the carpet munchies... dog I went down on her for like an hour!
carpet munchies by DJ Silky Nick November 2, 2011

Carpet Blowout 

A phrase allegorious to the term "sausage-fest", only refering to women.
"Hey Becky, want to split this joint? It is such a Carpet Blowout in here"
Carpet Blowout by Sivart Ferguson February 9, 2010

name carpetbombing

excessive name dropping, a combination of name dropping and carpet bombing
Person one: "And then the President said, and then Micheal Jordan said and then Lagerfeld showed up, George Clooney said hello to me, Dan Rather was like, oh my God, and then there was Tom Cruise, Meryl Streep, Tom Brokaw, The Queen of England, Mayor Bloomberg.."

Person two: "Shut up."

Person one: "Why?"

Person two: "You're name carpetbombing."
name carpetbombing by AYYFRON April 24, 2011

Carpet Match the Drapes

Term used when someone is asking whether a person's pubic hair color matches the color of the hair on their head. This question is usually asked of a person with red hair.
Hey Charlie, I saw you went home with that cute redheaded chick from the bar last night. Did the carpet match the drapes?

Roll out the pink carpet

To offer sex as a form of gratitude or atonement.
As gratitude:

Jeff: "I helped your sister get her car out of a snow bank last night"

Mike: "Thanks dude, that's cool of you"

Jeff: "No need to thank me, she rolled out the pink carpet"

Mike: "What?!"

As atonement:

Jeff: "Fern borrowed my new car and scratched the damn paint!"

Mike: "Did she roll out the pink carpet?"

Jeff: "Damn right she did!"
More from Urban Dictionary
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026

board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026

young pup 

a young person, a young adult in their late teens/early 20s.
Ah, you're just a young pup at 23!
young pup by the dog May 30, 2006
Word of the Day on August 25, 2026
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