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Crab Hammer 

The act of binding a persons hands and feet or until the person is totally restrained, then a crab or any other crustacean with pincers is inserted into the pants (crochial region) and is let loose, preferably angrily, after this is done there must be punching of the croch which induces pain (sometimes pleasure) and also increased anger to the crustacean.
Billy wouldn't give me my damn tree fiddy so we decided to give him a good ol' fashion crab hammer!
Crab Hammer by Ultad January 13, 2008

Alaskan Crab Hammer 

to recieve a blow job with ice cubes in the girls mouth. And when the penis gets too cold to keep in, to pull it out and smack the girl in the forehead with it.
yo my girl was giving me head last night with ice cubes in her mouth, but it got too cold and started to hurt so i gave her the alaskan crab hammer

Arthritic Crab Grapple Hammer 

A sexual act that involves the male adopting a naked 'Crab' like position by leaning backwards and standing on his legs and hands as the partner stimulates the penis using only the inside of their elbow.
Evee: Hey Hannah the inside of your elbow looks red raw did you have a reaction to something?

Hannah: Oh no, there friction burns i tried out the Arthritic Crab Grapple Hammer with Owen last night!

craphammer 

a penile-like object (most commonly er, a penis)laden with feces or same object being considered for future rectum poking.
catholic: yer gonna sink'er with yer craphammer?

elitist: muffy, would you mind flicking your poopoo from my craphammer?

craphammers 

An expression of minor disgust or dismay.
Oh craphammers! I pissed myself again!
craphammers by Mickey Bitsko September 26, 2007

crabhammer 

The 'crabhammer' is quite simply a sexual maneuver.

1. the girl gives the guy a blowjob
2. the guy comes in the girl's mouth
3. the guy rolls onto back, and smacks the girl with the sole of his right foot, then his left
4. the guy rolls back up, and pushes the girl backwards (kinda rolling her upside down)
5. the guy sticks his index and middle fingers (of each hand) into the girl's ass, and pulls it open
6. insert scrotum into rectum
7. remove fingers
8. bounce up and down
9. Congratulations! you have completed the crabhammer
Guy: so in my dream I give this chick the crabhammer, and then she makes me a bologna sandwich as I jackhammer her while rawhide is playing on my stereo

Therapist: well... i guess that would mean that you have some feelings of latent affection towards her...

Guy: dude... are you fucking kidding me?
crabhammer by LarryVR March 17, 2007