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SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

snake blasting fried chicken 

When you go to kfc you can encounter fat people with snake tatoes and they will proceed to put kfc in your bumb
Please dont snake blasting fried chicken me in the bumb.

Chicken shake ‘n Bake

When a man inserts his Johnson into a Costco chicken bake.
We’re Costco guys. Of course we always get the Chicken shake ‘n Bake.

Fried Chicken Hand Shake 

When you shake someone's hand after eating a bucket of fried chicken.
Person 1: Hey, nice to meet you.

Person 2: Ew, your hands are so greasy.

Person 1: Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to give you a Fried Chicken Hand Shake.