Beirdo - Noun
A portmanteau of the words beard and weirdo. A bearded, middle-aged man with greasy, oily skin and scraggly hair (if applicable). Many Beirdos
will sport a shaven
head or, on slightly rarer occasions, a bullet (see the 11th
definition for Bullet). Hygienic habits of a Beirdo include refusal to use a toothbrush,
soap, deodorant, or toilet
paper. Beirdos generally have an inner electromagnetic affinity which attracts them to small groups of younger teenage
boys with whom they can converse, even if against the group's
will. Beirdos tend to enjoy discussing such subjects as hanging dead bodies, torturing small defenseless animals, and eating raw
meat. The Beirdo's habitat ranges throughout the United States, some having been sighted even as far south as Baja California. They are most commonly spotted in Walmart, in The Dollar Store, at County Fairs, or in public restrooms, always taking a dump, but never wiping. Like the chimpanzee, Beirdos have been known to fling their waste if provoked. Experts suggest maintaining a 20 foot distance in order to stay out of range of a Beirdo's pungent, natural odor.
Example 1: The Beirdo cackled hysterically as he recounted the last
time he'd seen his grandmother fall and break her
hip.
Example 2: The stench of Beirdo wafted into my nostrils as I felt the warm breath of a middle-aged bald man whisper into my ear, "You ever eaten a raw
gopher?"