Berting

An irrational belief system coupled with delusions and bitterness

After hearing Manchester City’s guilty verdict their fans were ‘Berting’ all over social media

Berting by Bertie Magoo September 30, 2026

Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer  

A parable passed down for generations describing the futility of the unintelligent to perform simple tasks.

Since ancient times, when an imbecile, ill-advised coworker or friend has attempted an assignment beyond their capabilities, they are often compared to a monkey endlessly trying to fix an engine that won't start by beating on it with a hammer, because monkeys do not possess the skills of a mechanic.

After being shown how twice, Dan never did learn how to open the fence, so it rained on him a few hours later. He was just like a Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer that day.

Monkey Beating An Engine With A Hammer by Louisiana Gold December 21, 2008

seasons' beatings

These are domestic fights that occur when friends, relatives and alcohol all mix on holidays!

Dispatch to all units in the area of 5th and Lafferty we have a large domestic fight reported, seasons' beatings!

seasons' beatings by I, Wreckerrr November 12, 2020

beating army

A common colloquialism for "jerking off" at the US Naval Academy. Perhaps the most popular pastime among male midshipmen, due to a natural aversion towards dark siding, a general lack of attractive young women, and the ever present fear of being SAPR'd. Not to be confused with the female equivalent, "plebing your cover", which is a play on the term for the way freshmen (plebes) carry their covers (hats) by spreading their hand on the inside and carrying by their side.

I caught my roommate beating army last night. I'm not comfortable in the room anymore.

beating army by Chesty J December 1, 2014

Berging

When you take a shit so huge that the tip of it pokes above the water and in spite of any effort to flush it, it just spins and remains in place like an ice berg.

Oh crap, he's been in the bathroom so long I think he's been berging it.

Berging by Contributor_Random November 17, 2016

ear beating 

When a person keeps talking to you until your ears start to feel actual physical pain from the steady flow of inane shit that is coming out of their mouth.

Ear Beater: "...So, then I realized that to de-worm my Cocker Spaniel, I would probably have to get it to stop eating shit, but before I did that I would need to let it out of its cage. Whenever I let that little fucker out of his cage he just pisses on everything. You know who else pisses on everything? Steve. One time he pissed on my Cocker Spaniel..."

Victim's Mind: Oh my fucking God, this is the worst ear beating ever.

ear beating by miguel666 January 2, 2014

beating the gay allegations 

Used primarily on twitter to describe when someone does something that hints that they may be homosexual or commits a homosexual act. The response would usually be them getting called gay, so they would not be beating the gay allegations.

“Jeonghan said that the members of Seventeen are very good looking”
“He’s never beating the gay allegations”

beating the gay allegations by eataeil July 14, 2021