Ass Monkey!

A very large, hairy ass usually attached to a male of the human or baboon species. Most of the time has pimples, or smells horrible.

Damn, that Tyler boy has a real ass monkey, Did his mom screw a baboon or a bear?

Ass Monkey! by SuMoNeUwIsHuCuDb November 26, 2004

ass monkey

An awkward neighbor or boyfriend/girlfriend in your dorm who invites himself/herself to meals, parties, and other social events. Ass monkeys attach themselves to specific groups or individuals by seeing that other individuals are able to invite themselves to events but still be welcomed companions.

Sketchball A: We need to go out the side door. If we don't your ass monkey will come with us to dinner.

Sketchball B: Tru that 'ho. I don't want my ass monkey fucking up my Pimp Committee.

Mutual Friend of Sketchballs A and B: I swear Sketchball B. If your ass monkey comes to one more meal with us I'm going to jump off a bridge.

ass monkey by I-Heart-Shiksas January 8, 2008

Ass Monkey

A person who, for all intents and purposes, has never learned a god-damned thing. One who maintains a blissful ignorance of the world that simultaneously inspires amusement, disgust and despair in all who are unlucky enough to encounter him.

Did you see those ass-monkeys on Jaywalking last night? Ha-ha, they're so dumb...I think I'll kill myself.

Ass Monkey by Petros March 10, 2004

Ass Monkey

A driver who follows your vehicle at an unsafe distance in their vehicle. A tailgater.

I wish that Ass Monkey would get off my tail!

Ass Monkey by pseudoraptor February 18, 2010

Ass-Monkey 

1. One who exudes stupidity.
2. One who tries to be funny but fails miserably.

"The two people who submitted their versions of the definition before me (mojohojojomo and lee!) are a couple of reeeaaaalll ASS-MONKIES!!!"

Ass-Monkey by Bobo aka Bart Clocker the Fart Knocker March 24, 2004

Ass-Monkey 

A ridiculously stupid person. A complete imbecile.

Why do you have to be such an Ass-Monkey?

Ass-Monkey by SchwarzerWind September 1, 2003

Ass Monkey

Someone that is so very obsessed with ass, though this is not where the term's meaning comes from. Rather, it is the behavior of these ass monkeys. They act like douchebags for no reason and are typically extremely unintelligent.

John: "Yo, did you go to Mark's party last night? It was wild!"
Rudiger: "Nah mate, I didn't. Mark's a fucking ass monkey."

Ass Monkey by Jay Faraday May 23, 2020