Ass Microwave 

When you slip your freezing cold hands between your ass cheeks and pants, creating a nice, warm feeling known as the 'Ass Microwave'.

Chester: Hey Mark, its 20 degrees right now, do you have some money so I can get some gloves?
Mark: Nah, man, sorry. Spent my last 20 dollars at the strip club, getting HIV from a hooker.
Chester: Ah well, I guess I'll just have to make an Ass Microwave to warm 'em up.

Ass Microwave by TheNiggersWIllRiseAgain April 10, 2015

ass smack microwave 

To hit somone in the ass with the door of the microwave as they walk by. This is done by pushing the button that opens the microwave door timing it so they get a noticable tap on the ass.
Make sure to have some sort of heated food in there so as to protect yourself for any sort of trouble you may get into, apparently some people don't like getting a tap on the ass...

i didnt want to get fired for sexual misconduct so i pulled off an ass smack microwave on that hot secretary downstairs just to see that nice oooo face she makes.

ass smack microwave by desktop peev June 13, 2006

microwaved ass

Used to describe something disagreeable or unpleasant to the senses.

This burger tastes like microwaved ass!

Dude, your breath smells like microwaved ass!

I haven't slept in three days, I look like microwaved ass.

microwaved ass by proud2deviate January 24, 2004