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If…were a person 

“If…were a person” is a catch all formulaic phrase designed to foreground the actions of a person as so definitive that their picture should be found under the definition of the word or phrase.

If used correctly the verb “to be” used in the sentence should be conjugated in the English Subjunctive tense because it presupposes a condition that does not actually exist preceded by the word: “if”.

Any number of colorful phrases can be used to complete this word formula. The only limit is the imagination of the observer.
Correct ways of using the formula: “If…were a person.”

If “cock blocking” were a person it would look like Joe Manchin vs.Biden’s attempts at legislation.

If “too soon” were a person it would look like Pete Davidson sending a selfie to Kanye West from Kim Kardashian’s bed after smashing.

a person who does not use social media 

Social media ghost (SMG)
A person who does not use social media
I can't find Don anywhere on social media. He must be a social media ghost (SMG) in other words he is a person who does not use social media.

A Person named Denver 

Denver is generally a very chill guy. He doesn’t talk much, but he tends to attract many people towards him because of the vibe that he gives off. He is very attractive even though he may not see it for himself. Denver is a super nice guy and has a good heart he doesn’t treat people in the same way that they treat him even if they’re malicious towards him. He will always go the extra mile for the people he cares about, he’s always willing to lend these people a helping hand even when he necessarily can’t afford to. He’s a very deep and passionate lover and when he loves he wants to love that person long term. He doesn’t believe in giving up he fights hard for what he really wants. Denver is a guy who will never give up on anything easily and despite the troubles he may have he comes out a conqueror. Overall If you know a Denver hold onto them and cherish them forever, because there will be no one else like them.
Brad: Hey do you know who that guy is?

Jake: Yeah, that’s A Person named Denver I hang out with him all the time he’s super chill.
A Person named Denver by divaqueen33 November 23, 2021

i like you as a person 

Basically there is no hope in a relationship so keep the friendship strong. They like who you are as a friend but they don’t see you going anywhere as they only like you as a friend.
“I like you “ - her

“ I like you as a person” - him

shit of a person

Describes a person which everybody hates, because a lot of reasons, the most popular is: "I'm getting out of the Army".

Used in hebrew. very popular phrase.
Gabi: I'm going to New Zealand, to see Rita's show!
Rubi: You are a shit of a person!!!!
shit of a person by reuven_aron September 6, 2006

a person in need of touching grass 

another name of a genshin impact player over ar 40
shut up carlos, i know you're a person in need of touching grass, since you're obssesing over your xiao build for the literal 57th time this week and your ar is insanely high.
More from Urban Dictionary
A US deep south term for an alligator. Usually used in the Cajun dialect.
Take the big pirogue, I saw a huge swamp dog out there earlier.
swamp dog by Crystal Ambrose May 22, 2006
Word of the Day on October 12, 2026

Throat Sweats 

The feeling and build up in your mouth/throat of saliva that sometimes accompanies nausea.
Oh man those burritos gave me the throat sweats, I hope I don’t have food poisoning.
Throat Sweats by TacoFings420 April 23, 2024
Word of the Day on October 11, 2026
Being ignored by someone when making a statement or asking a question. Also known as blanked and turfed.
Person 1: Did u watch ** last nite?
Person 2:......
Person 3: O no u got aired!
aired by Pietro February 9, 2005
Word of the Day on October 10, 2026

piddlefart

Instead of doing my homework, I decided to piddlefart around for two hours.
piddlefart by Rene April 25, 2005
Word of the Day on October 9, 2026
anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026

square grouper

Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
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