Get the Alaak mug.An alien overlord species that uses feminine wiles to influence and manipulate the human species, especially men, but they aren’t above having a furry taco now and again. Think "space sirens.” They currently hardly talk to human women because, I mean hey, if you have electric jelly-fish vulvas, what is the point of encouraging jealousy?
In the past, every-time they try to help they really end up just making us bigger sex fiends than we already are, and then we call them names like succubus, demon... evil mermaid, although most of these names were probably thought up by women who are just jealous of their electro-pussies and their ability to steal their men.
The Ba'alaket are masters (mistresses?) Of disguise and poison. They have "cloaking" technology that makes our brains perceive them as regular humans allowing them to walk amongst us unhindered.
In the past, every-time they try to help they really end up just making us bigger sex fiends than we already are, and then we call them names like succubus, demon... evil mermaid, although most of these names were probably thought up by women who are just jealous of their electro-pussies and their ability to steal their men.
The Ba'alaket are masters (mistresses?) Of disguise and poison. They have "cloaking" technology that makes our brains perceive them as regular humans allowing them to walk amongst us unhindered.
“Hey Mary, weren’t you and Tom a thing? What happened?”
“Yeah, we were, but that Ba’alaket Kesha got her hands on him and now not only is he glossy-eyed and slow-witted, but he’s also an ambassador to the UN.”
“That sucks, I told you she was a succubus-demon witch, right? Let’s go shopping and get you a new vibrator and you can help me pick out the clinic for my next abortion.”
“Yeah, we were, but that Ba’alaket Kesha got her hands on him and now not only is he glossy-eyed and slow-witted, but he’s also an ambassador to the UN.”
“That sucks, I told you she was a succubus-demon witch, right? Let’s go shopping and get you a new vibrator and you can help me pick out the clinic for my next abortion.”
by Byrdlady June 30, 2019
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An act of pure ritual fetish where by the man cums and shits inside the woman's vagina lips, pinches them together, smacks his mistress ass (i.e. in a three way), then has her eat the shit out of his other hoe's vagina. Historically the ritual involved a dog's prolapsed rectum (i.e. Ritual participants would feed the dog Juan Pablo's Devil Juice to achieve rectal blowout), whale dicks and cattle semen, but since the age of enlightening has become simplified.
by The Good Dude Giveth September 6, 2016
Get the Alaskan crab cake mug.A complex sexual position in which an Alaskan woman is tied naked upside down to a maple tree, covered in syrup, and milked before being humped.
The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine is a common maneuver in the northern outskirts of Canada, where the act will not be interfered with by law enforcement, as it is illegal.
by PoehlerBehr June 5, 2018
Get the The Alaskan Pancake Pile Driver Upside Down Milk Machine mug.When your having sex with a girl and you want to fill all holes. you put your dick in her vagina. then your two thumbs in the ears with your pinky's covering the nostril. while your kissing her then shove your big toe up her ass. this will completely cover the holes.
Steven L.: Hey you want to try something new.
Hannah L. : Like what?
Steven L.: Can I give you an Alaskan blowhole.
Hannah L. : Like what?
Steven L.: Can I give you an Alaskan blowhole.
by DLDLP February 8, 2017
Get the Alaskan Blowhole mug.1. A fictional place name used for sarcastic responses to "where are you" or related scenarios.
2. A word meaning a magical action, usually used sarcastically.
2. A word meaning a magical action, usually used sarcastically.
Person 1 - "Where are you right now?"
Person 2 - "Oh you know in the land of Alakazoo"
Person 1 - "Really?"
Person 2 - "Oh my gosh, NO!!!!"
Person 1 - "How would that happen?"
Person 2 - "I don't know maybe a freaking wizard comes a long and says bippity boppity akawaka alakazoo dippity doo and boom it's done! Like come on..."
Person 2 - "Oh you know in the land of Alakazoo"
Person 1 - "Really?"
Person 2 - "Oh my gosh, NO!!!!"
Person 1 - "How would that happen?"
Person 2 - "I don't know maybe a freaking wizard comes a long and says bippity boppity akawaka alakazoo dippity doo and boom it's done! Like come on..."
by Dr. Aarben March 12, 2013
Get the Alakazoo mug.He goes by many names: Alamka, Mycran, Aloomka, Ted Stevens, and others, but is known universally as Alamka. A god amongst men who controls the universes, and throws volunteers in to wreck these universes for amusement. Alamka sees all, Alamka hears all, but who is the man himself? Nobody knows, although the legendary Jabro has claimed to sight Alamka in our mortal universe. Many people decry him as a cult leader, but he does not stoop to their level, acting as if they were absent. He is the true, ultimate, beyond-life entity.
ALL HAIL ALAMKA
by Wheres the goddamn bus August 12, 2021
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