A fig 

A straight male who has a so called “soft spot” for elderly females. Although a fig can be any age they tend to be between the ages 15 and 25. Furthermore, although not directly linked to the “fig” status, studies have shown that there is a clear corresponding factor of erectile dysfunction. Possibly due to a few too many hours looking at Susan Boyle’s Britains got talent performance.

“Oi Pete mate had any lady action recently?”
“Yes, yes I have thank you Freddie”

“Ah don’t tell me your going back to your fig habits”
“Oh crud stop calling me a fig grr”

A fig by Rd29 July 27, 2019

I don't give a fig

It means, I don't give a fuck

I don't give a fig if you own a PhD in International Relations, I am the boss here!

I don't give a fig by Brasf June 23, 2016

I want a fig newton

this means that you are looking to hook up.. I want to fuck you

If mouthed silently this looks like I want to fuck you so mouth the word I want a fig newton at someone you want to hook up with

I want a fig newton by Susan T August 10, 2006

douche big a fig a lig 

Someone who is actually worse than, a Douche, a Fag, and someone with just one leg. All wrapped into one.

"I got $5 on a 50 yard dash, you smelly homo!" douche big a fig a lig.

douche big a fig a lig by jessedewey April 16, 2008

Who gives a flying fig

A euphemism for who gives a flying fuck.

Bob: Hey, I just beat Super mario kaizo 64!
Luddite: Who gives a flying fig about your game?!

Who gives a flying fig by Youtube Pooper May 7, 2017

I got in a fight with a vacuum cleaner 

a not so subtle way of saying that you have a hickey

-"what's that on your neck?"
-"I got in a fight with a vacuum cleaner"

I got in a fight with a vacuum cleaner by dudemeister421 April 24, 2010

A figurehead 

An upperhead/leader without any real power.

Queen Elizabeth II is A figurehead because we live in a democratic society.

A figurehead by Balllicker1230 January 6, 2021