401(k)

A stimulus package of 401 Kilograms of Columbia's finest, sold to America's top wealthiest 2%. Only the fattest of fat cats will be able to afford the proceeds of this package to finance the retirement of the individuals involved in selling these packages.

Guy #1: I'm on easy street now, I got myself a 401(k).
Guy #2: Are you sure?
Guy #1: Yeah I got me 401 Kilo's of Columbia's finest.
Guy #2: Where can I get one of those?
Guy #1: Definitely not on Wall Street.
Guy #2: Where then?
Guy #1: I know a guy down in Miami who can hook you up.
Guy #2: Sweet.

by Great White Unicorn June 1, 2009

401 (k)

When a younger woman seeks out a much older, wealthy man to marry, with the sole purpose of inheriting his estate.

"She's not in love with him. He's just her 401 (k)!"

by Katmeow57 March 25, 2017

401 K

What you know longer have because of the economy.

Bob "Hey Jim do u still have a 401 K?"
Jim "No..."
Bob "Me neither..."

by hhHhhhhHkkksssS August 19, 2010

Slap it till it begs for mercy and files a 401(k)

It’s a sarcastic or comical way of saying you’re going to go very hard on something, whether that's a workout, cooking a steak, fixing a problem, etc. coined in 2025 by RCS

“How’s that new blender?”
“Bro, it slaps so hard it made the smoothie beg for mercy and file a 401(k).”

Slap it till it begs for mercy and files a 401(k)

by AKansasIntellectual June 14, 2025

401k

Real or 100%.

Person 1: I’m going to keep it 401k with you, you’re in trouble.

by Creatorof401k December 8, 2020

Alabama 401K

A retirement plan, of sorts, where an individual makes a bogus back injury claim and files for unemployment, social security, and/or insurance payments. This is a steady source of income for many dirtbags living in Alabama and Mississippi.

Mama, I'll be gettin' my own double wide 'cause my check's in the mail!--Alabama 401K in action!

by Gary Vitalis February 12, 2007

401k and chill

Something dumb shits do: Cash out their 401k and just chill for a few months until it runs out. Then find a job, if any employer would be so lucky to have their dumb ass.

This asshole at work got laid off and decided to 401k and chill for a few months.

by nogimmick December 29, 2015