The ambulance waiting in the
wings at sporting events to whisk concussed, paralyzed, and otherwise incapacitated gladiators off to the hospital, which is the first
stop of the rest of their lives of long,
slow mental and physical deterioration.
"How many meathead wagons were should we schedule for this weekend's football game?" -
Coach #1
"Ah, fifteen oughta do it." - Coach #2
"Hey, great thing the 90% of the school's extracurricular budget is for the football program." - Coach #1
"Yeah, no doubt. Just a matter of time before the
library and chorus
money gets sent our way, too." - Coach #2