professor dickdouche

A sentient entity who is in the state of being dick and a douche at the same time
"professor" implies sarcastically that the offended person is intelligent.

teacher: BE QUIIIIEEEET!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
Me: OK professor dickdouche

by wangjiahua December 11, 2010

professional bullshitter

Someone who is so good at lying that you believe them even when you know they are probably lying.

Boy: I love you forever, I always have.

Girl: you always say that but then every time I believe you, you disappear.

Boy: I don't what got into me in the past i am so sorry. Honestly you are always on my mind. I promise I am not going anywhere this time.

Girl: you are a Professional Bullshitter how can I believe you.

Boy: because it's true this time and you feel it. I love you I do.

Girl: ya, I love you too.

A few days later Boy acts as though Girl doesn't exist.

by With Love chris June 29, 2016

professional booger picker

A profession listed on job applications to avoid getting the job to continue collecting unemployment.

During a job interview, walk in with a plate of boogers. When the interviewer asks about the plate, tell them "I used to wipe them on my pants, but that's just gross." I'm a professional booger picker.

by ferrdog April 11, 2008

professional asshole

Someone who makes a living by being an asshole. Often used to refer to cable news or talk radio political commentators whose primary objective is to say the most outrageous, off the wall, inflammatory things about their political opponents or their supporters

Rush Limbaugh has made a career out of being a professional asshole.

Stephen Colbert is not a professional asshole, but he plays one on TV.

by wayward2 January 25, 2008

Young Professional

A recent graduate who spends their Saturday's socializing at "The fresh market", "Whole foods" or "Target" for the free wine tastings and samples of imported foods making it seem as though they are successful and well educated; when in reality, they are on their way home to indulge in a pack of ramen noodles followed by Wal-mart, then a trip to the Laundromat.

Kelly: "I love shopping at the fresh market but... do you smell that?"

Kelly: "It smells like ramen noodles mixed with cheap fabric softener."

Heather: "Oh don't worry, it's just a young professional."

by Heidi01 October 20, 2010

gracious professionalism

Don't be a jerk -Woodie Flowers

Let's say good game to this team even though we kicked there ass cause gracious professionalism :)

by kmskate January 28, 2017

the professor

The ruse of having a guy come over to fix something, with the real intention of having sex with him. Much the same way Marianne, Ginger, Mrs. Howell, and the Skipper, used to play the Professor on the ol' TV classic Gilligan's Island.

Elaine worked the professor on Newman. She had him come over to fix her mail slot, and he delivered all over her.

by Pantaloon January 28, 2008