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Hairy Monkey 

shave off your pubes, then after you blow your load on her face, throw your pubes on her and she will look like abe lincoln.
four score and seven years ago, the woman got jizzed on and pubes thrown upon her face...
Hairy Monkey by spente200 May 2, 2005

hairy fish 

A small round dog of the fuzzy haired variety possessing a general fishy odour.
That's one hairy fish!
hairy fish by Fishtopher September 9, 2008

Hairy Penis and the Kidney Stone

a blasphemous rendering of the popular Harry Potter book entitled Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
Coming this Fall to a theater near you..."Hairy Penis and the Kidney Stone"
"Abracadara, Abracadee, release the stone so I can pee..."

Try Hardy 

A douchebag who wears a lot of Ed Hardy.
I went to Rehab at the Hard Rock and the place was overrun with Try Hardy drunkards screaming "Woo" at women's tits.
Try Hardy by synja October 20, 2009

Hairy Cow 

ASSCAKE: That fat person just had a nip slip of her hairy cow.

PELVICSHIT: Gross.

Hairy Juan

A Hispanic male who comes to North America to get some sweet pussy. He has large muscles and goes to clubs all night to leave with some ass and pound it when he gets home. Hairy Juan refers to a man with much hair, therefore he is masculine. When bitches see the hair he’s got on his chest and arms, they cant wait to get him home and have his hairy ball sack smacking their pussy from behind. Please note the hairy Juan will not be afraid to show off his hairy body and grind on pussy at clubs. He knows that only real mean have hair and takes his large cock with pride when screwing a slut in her holes.
Juan: yo bitches some round, im a hairy Juan so you know im packing a long pole. Who wants to suck?
Bitch: im getting some hairy balls tonight!
Hairy Juan by Juanxxx March 25, 2009